Death

I love music; it speaks to me on a deep level. I'll be listening to the radio or singing at church and hear a song that seems to fit my exact situation, whatever that situation may be. I believe God uses music to speak His truth to me or to package it in a way that I more easily understand and will remember. Sometimes He uses a song I've never heard before and other times He opens my eyes to new truth in songs I already know.

Since my terminal diagnosis, the thought of death is different for me. More real, of course. And, in juxtaposition, I find it's both less fearful (something I've written about here in the past) and more fearful, because it's coming and I don't know what to expect. But in addition to these feelings, I've found that I also have a new appreciation for the idea that Jesus defeated death. I never really thought much about that before, I think because death and I didn't cross paths very often. But now, when we sing songs at church about Jesus' victory over death, I tear up in thankfulness and raise my arms high.

In today's service, there seemed to be more references to Jesus' defeat of death than usual. And each one of them moved me to tears. Maybe they've moved you in the past, too, but for me, their power didn't fully hit me until I learned my own experience with death wasn't as far off as I had always thought. Here are some of the words we sang:

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ 

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand (In Christ Alone)

In death and in life I'm confident and covered by the power of Your great love
My debt is paid there's nothing that can separate my heart from Your great love (One Thing Remains)

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks yours
Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity (Hosaana)

You are peace You are peace
When my fear is crippling
You are true You are true
Even in my wandering
You are joy You are joy
You're the reason that I sing
You are life You are life
In You death has lost its sting (Forever Reign)

First born of the slain
The man Jesus Christ laid
Death in his grave
So three days in darkness slept
The morning sun of righteousness
But rose to shame the throws of death
And overturn his rule
Now daughters and the sons of men
Would not pay their dues again
The debt of blood they owed was rent
When the day rolled anew (Death in His Grave)

Because of Jesus, we don't have to fear an eternal death. He died so we don't have to. But He didn't stay dead - He came back to life! And because He did this, beating death, we will too. Of course I will physically die, but it will only be for a moment, simply a movement from this world to the next. And I surrender to the fact that "from life's first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny." It's not always the "destiny" I would have picked, but He is my "peace when my fear is crippling." Because of Him, "death has lost its sting" and "sin's curse has lost its grip on me." There is "no guilt in life, no fear in death." Either way, "in death or in life, I'm confident and covered by the power of [His] great love." We don't have to pay our "dues. The debt of blood [we] owed was rent when the day rolled anew." And because of all this, I say, "Break my heart for what breaks Yours, everything I am for Your kingdom's cause, as I walk from earth into eternity."