Scan Results

I don't know how many times I've thought my latest ache and pain is an indication that my cancer has started growing again. Or how many times I've felt foolish upon finding out my scans looked fine and my latest ache and pain was nothing. Such is the life of a cancer patient.

And then you get bad news, and you wish you were back in the scenario of feeling foolish for worrying about nothing. Such was the case with Monday's scans. My oncologist called with the news that I have multiple new spots throughout my spine, ribs, and pelvis. The clinical trial drug has stopped working for me and it's time to find another treatment plan.

My oncologist said the new metastases are likely the source(s) of my increased pain, pressing on the muscles around them and causing the muscles to spasm, so he called in a muscle relaxer that I started last night. I haven't gotten relief yet, but I'm hopeful. I certainly don't want to use them long-term, so I'm praying there's another option, perhaps radiation.

The next steps in determining my new treatment plan are for me to get a bone biopsy to see if my cancer has the PIK3CA mutation, which would make me eligible for a targeted drug called Piqray. I've heard this is a hard drug and some of my friends have opted out of using it because of the side effects. I'm not sure yet if I'll go for it anyway; it doesn't seem to do any good to worry before I find out if I have the mutation. That is tomorrow's worry and, as Matthew 6:34 says, "Tomorrow has enough trouble of its own." 

If I don't have the mutation, my oncologist's recommendation is that I switch to Afinitor. I still need to do more research on both of these options but am just trying to process the news right now. Having previously gone five years on one treatment, needing to change after five months is a huge disappointment. It is scary to think that I might not get more than five months on any of my next treatments and/or that my side effects will get less and less bearable.

This was the verse of the day yesterday and it was such a good reminder:

The two verses preceding it are wonderful, as well: "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all" (2 Cor. 4:16-17).

My body is temporary, but everything I experience in it is not. May I fix my eyes on the eternal things. 

"I will lift up my eyes to the hills—From whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber.

Behold, He who keeps Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord is your keeper; The Lord is your shade at your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord shall preserve you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul. The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in from this time forth, and even forevermore" (Ps. 121).