Good Days, Bad Days, Friday
This week and last have both been good weeks. The week before that, not so much. Slowly, I am learning that feeling bad one day doesn't mean I'll feel bad the next and, more importantly, doesn't mean I will feel bad for the rest of my life. It is easy to think that how I feel right now is how I'm going to feel until the point I start to feel even worse. When I sink into thoughts like that, I am easily discouraged.
But the past week and a half have been much better and there were times when I even forgot about the cancer. Friday brings cancer back to the forefront, though. Instead of fitting my treatment in between work, this time I was scheduled for an entire day of appointments:
8:00 - one year post-surgery checkup
9:30 - start fasting for CT scan
10:00 - one year post-radiation checkup
11:30 - injection for my bone scan
1:30 - drink contrast for CT scan
1:40 - CT scan
3:00 - bone scan
What a way to spend a Friday! I'm feeling good going into these scans, though. I just wish I weren't getting them on a holiday weekend; I won't get results until Tuesday at the earliest. An opportunity to practice patience - oh boy! Of course, I'd love your prayers - for peace and sanity as I hang out in the cancer center allllllll day and for continued findings of "no evidence of progression."
I choose to give thanks now, though, no matter what happens. Ann Voskamp helped me understand the beauty and necessity of thankfulness; how, like Jesus, we can give thanks in all things, even in the cases when we know that what is coming is hard: "The Lord Jesus the same night in which he was betrayed took bread: And when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, 'Take, eat: this is my body, which is broken for you'" (1 Cor. 11:23-24, emphasis mine).
He KNEW He was about to get back-stabbed by one of His own followers, convicted in a sham of a trial, tortured until He was disfigured almost beyond recognition, and then publicly hung from a cross until He died from asphyxiation. And He gave thanks! Yes, He went from this meal to the garden of Gethsemane to ask God to spare Him this pain and suffering; He prayed for it so hard that He sweat drops of blood. But in the end He said, "Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done" (Luke 22:42).
So I give thanks, because whatever happens comes from His hand, and because He went before me and showed me how it's done.
But the past week and a half have been much better and there were times when I even forgot about the cancer. Friday brings cancer back to the forefront, though. Instead of fitting my treatment in between work, this time I was scheduled for an entire day of appointments:
8:00 - one year post-surgery checkup
9:30 - start fasting for CT scan
10:00 - one year post-radiation checkup
11:30 - injection for my bone scan
1:30 - drink contrast for CT scan
1:40 - CT scan
3:00 - bone scan
What a way to spend a Friday! I'm feeling good going into these scans, though. I just wish I weren't getting them on a holiday weekend; I won't get results until Tuesday at the earliest. An opportunity to practice patience - oh boy! Of course, I'd love your prayers - for peace and sanity as I hang out in the cancer center allllllll day and for continued findings of "no evidence of progression."
I choose to give thanks now, though, no matter what happens. Ann Voskamp helped me understand the beauty and necessity of thankfulness; how, like Jesus, we can give thanks in all things, even in the cases when we know that what is coming is hard: "The Lord Jesus the same night in which he was betrayed took bread: And when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, 'Take, eat: this is my body, which is broken for you'" (1 Cor. 11:23-24, emphasis mine).
He KNEW He was about to get back-stabbed by one of His own followers, convicted in a sham of a trial, tortured until He was disfigured almost beyond recognition, and then publicly hung from a cross until He died from asphyxiation. And He gave thanks! Yes, He went from this meal to the garden of Gethsemane to ask God to spare Him this pain and suffering; He prayed for it so hard that He sweat drops of blood. But in the end He said, "Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done" (Luke 22:42).
So I give thanks, because whatever happens comes from His hand, and because He went before me and showed me how it's done.
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