Life Events

This past week has been a big one for our family, in both happy ways and hard ways. Life is like that sometimes, isn't it? The broken with the beautiful. Sorrow and sadness, joy and hope - all in the same breath. It's amazing what the human heart can endure and the range of emotions we have the capacity to feel.

I know I have written about my BRCA 2 genetic mutation, but in looking through my old posts tonight, I realize that I haven't written much. That's strange to me because it's affected me and my family so much in the past four years. You can read more about BRCA here, but in a nutshell, it means that anyone with this mutation has a much higher risk of developing breast and/or ovarian cancer. When I was diagnosed with cancer at such a young age, I was tested and found to be positive for this mutation. Once we knew the gene was in our family, my brother and sister were also tested. They tested positive, too, and we now know my dad is the carrier. Every child has a 50% chance of inheriting the mutation from a parent who has it, since the BRCA 2 gene can come either from the parent with the mutation or from the one without it. I guess in our family the mutation is dominant.

Obviously, the risk of breast cancer is much higher for my sister than my brother (although men do get breast cancer) and so on Tuesday, my sister had a preventive double mastectomy. In her own words:

Please pray for me. As many of you already know, my sister has cancer. She was diagnosed when she was 31, and because we have no family history besides one aunt, the doctors ran genetic testing. Turned out Katherine had the genetic mutation associated with breast cancer, BRCA 2+. When we found out that she was BRCA 2+, we were each tested and turns out I am BRCA 2+ as well. This means that we have over an 85% chance of getting breast cancer. The doctors advised me to consider preventative surgery (aka a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy) which would lower my risk for breast cancer down to less than 3%. Being 25 at the time, I immediately shot down the idea. "You want me to have my breasts removed NOW? I'm so young. No way. I'll just wait until something shows up in my scans and then have it removed." Katherine underwent a bilateral mastectomy plus chemo and was told she had only a 15% chance of the cancer returning. However, about 9 months ago, the doctors discovered that the cancer had returned in her bones. She was told that the average person in her circumstances lives 3 years. It was then that I realized I could not wait until something showed up in my scans because by then, it may be too late. I needed to act. So this coming Tuesday, May 10th, I will be undergoing a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy to lower my risk for breast cancer. While I am very scared and very sad, I know that it's the right decision for me, and for my kids who will not have to worry anymore about losing their mom to breast cancer. I have not shared with many people for fear of rejection or criticism, but my need for support has become greater than my fears. I have been having extreme anxiety which makes it difficult to focus or sleep, my stomach is constantly in knots and my thought are racing. I also have been very sad as it is a grieving process. I can usually put a smile on my face, but the truth is, I'm heartbroken. None of us could have anticipated this happening to our family. I feel awful about my sister's cancer and I feel awful about having to lose my breasts. It feels lonely. Because not many people up to this point have known the specifics, not many can really empathize so I feel as if life is just going on as normal with everyone around me while my world has stopped. Externally, I still have to go to work, pick up the kids and care for their needs, cook, clean, pay bills, etc. but internally I'm having difficulty functioning. My hope is that reaching out may help me to feel less alone and that kind words and actions will help to ease the pain. Plus I strongly desire to build awareness. I feel like not many people are even aware that BRCA 2 (and there is also a BRCA 1) exists. I didn't know anything about breast cancer or these genetic mutations until Katherine was diagnosed. But knowledge is power and if even one person is blessed or comforted or motivated to educate themselves or to start having screenings by hearing my story, then it makes it worth sharing. So please keep me in your prayers, and if you would like to help with things like meals/groceries, the expense of the surgery, etc., my amazing boyfriend Jon has set up a caringbridge website for me and you can follow this link: https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/karinmoore
(You have to create an account but it's free) Thank you for your love and support.

I hate that cancer has affected our family like this. I hate that my sister is having to go through this. I hate that our world is broken and that this is by far not the worst thing that happens in it. But there are bright spots. On Saturday, we celebrated my husband's graduation from college!

He worked so hard for the past four years, especially for someone who never enjoyed school or took it seriously in high school. I am so proud that he stuck with it and even graduated with honors. On Saturday, we braved the sun and the rain and joined 35,000 of our closest friends to celebrate the momentous occasion in Liberty's football stadium. It was definitely an event to remember (and hopefully not repeated anytime soon - that is A LOT of people). Being back at Liberty, attending graduation again FIFTEEN years after I graduated (!) was an experience in itself, but one for another blog post.

I am thankful that God meets us in both our highs and our lows. Nothing is news to Him and nothing is too small for His notice. He rejoices when we rejoice and weeps when we weep. He knows exactly how we feel, because He felt it, too. "We do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need" (Heb. 4:15-16).