An Upside-Down Kingdom
The ladies ministry at my church is doing this great series of testimonies from women at our church. Every week, a different woman shares what God has done in her life so far and then we break up into smaller groups to talk about some discussion questions related to that particular testimony. Tonight's testimony and discussion time really got me thinking about my story and just how much God has done in my life so far.
I've been through some pretty big things with God so far, things I would never have thought I could make it through if God had told me the plan ahead of time. Since some of you haven't known me long, at some point I'll catch you up on each big thing God's brought me through so far, but for now, know that in each situation, God proved Himself faithful to me. So faithful that I was even expecting that something "bad" was going to happen to me soon.
I remember being on a plane on the way back from Kenya and telling God, "You've brought me through so much; I'm ready for the next big thing. Yes, I'm scared to say that, because Big Things usually mean Bad Things, but I want to trust You more. Let's do this." Three months later, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
Four years post-diagnosis, I remember singing the song Oceans at church and praying the words to God: "Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters wherever You would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior." I was ready for the next Big Thing, knowing it might mean a Bad Thing. A month or two later, I learned my breast cancer had returned and spread to my spine - a terminal diagnosis.
Tim Keller said that the kingdom of God is an upside-down kingdom. Hearing the Christian life described this way caused so many things to click with me. God says that to be first you must be last, that we should give in order to get, that in dying we live, that the bad things in this life are used by God for good. Sometimes, when people hear my story, they say something like, "You've been through so much. Just one of those things is hard enough." And some days I totally agree with them. I don't know why my life has had challenge after challenge, when some people don't seem to have many difficulties at all.
But tonight I was reminded about the upside-down kingdom, where "challenges" are actually blessings, where I can give thanks because I've been given the gift of trusting God more. I always thought the oft-quoted verse, "Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much." (Mt. 25:21), referred to some kind of earthly blessing or responsibility. Like, "You sang well at the little church you grew up in; now I'm going to place you in a larger church or on American Idol." Or, "You used your little starter home for Me; now I'm going to give you a bigger house." I never thought it meant, "You were faithful to Me in this first trial; now I'm going to give you another, harder one."
But of course that's what it meant! I live in the upside-down kingdom! God is talking spiritually in this verse, saying something like, "You've been faithful in one trial; now I will set you over another one so you can show My faithfulness to even more people." It's a blessing to suffer for God. The disciples and first apostles knew that. Acts 5:40-41 says, "[The Sanhedrin] called the apostles in and had them flogged. Then they ordered them not to speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go. The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name." And Paul says something similar in 2 Thessalonians: "Therefore, among God’s churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring. [...] and as a result you will be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are suffering."
God doesn't promise alleviation of suffering until we get to heaven. I believe He actually says the opposite - that suffering is a blessing and that as we are faithful in one trial, He rewards us with another, for it is only in suffering that we truly come to know our suffering Savior. So I now choose to consider myself blessed to have suffered in multiple ways in my life thus far. It is the thing that brings me to God and keeps me close to Him - "just a closer walk..."
I've been through some pretty big things with God so far, things I would never have thought I could make it through if God had told me the plan ahead of time. Since some of you haven't known me long, at some point I'll catch you up on each big thing God's brought me through so far, but for now, know that in each situation, God proved Himself faithful to me. So faithful that I was even expecting that something "bad" was going to happen to me soon.
I remember being on a plane on the way back from Kenya and telling God, "You've brought me through so much; I'm ready for the next big thing. Yes, I'm scared to say that, because Big Things usually mean Bad Things, but I want to trust You more. Let's do this." Three months later, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
Four years post-diagnosis, I remember singing the song Oceans at church and praying the words to God: "Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters wherever You would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior." I was ready for the next Big Thing, knowing it might mean a Bad Thing. A month or two later, I learned my breast cancer had returned and spread to my spine - a terminal diagnosis.
Tim Keller said that the kingdom of God is an upside-down kingdom. Hearing the Christian life described this way caused so many things to click with me. God says that to be first you must be last, that we should give in order to get, that in dying we live, that the bad things in this life are used by God for good. Sometimes, when people hear my story, they say something like, "You've been through so much. Just one of those things is hard enough." And some days I totally agree with them. I don't know why my life has had challenge after challenge, when some people don't seem to have many difficulties at all.
But tonight I was reminded about the upside-down kingdom, where "challenges" are actually blessings, where I can give thanks because I've been given the gift of trusting God more. I always thought the oft-quoted verse, "Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much." (Mt. 25:21), referred to some kind of earthly blessing or responsibility. Like, "You sang well at the little church you grew up in; now I'm going to place you in a larger church or on American Idol." Or, "You used your little starter home for Me; now I'm going to give you a bigger house." I never thought it meant, "You were faithful to Me in this first trial; now I'm going to give you another, harder one."
But of course that's what it meant! I live in the upside-down kingdom! God is talking spiritually in this verse, saying something like, "You've been faithful in one trial; now I will set you over another one so you can show My faithfulness to even more people." It's a blessing to suffer for God. The disciples and first apostles knew that. Acts 5:40-41 says, "[The Sanhedrin] called the apostles in and had them flogged. Then they ordered them not to speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go. The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name." And Paul says something similar in 2 Thessalonians: "Therefore, among God’s churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring. [...] and as a result you will be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are suffering."
God doesn't promise alleviation of suffering until we get to heaven. I believe He actually says the opposite - that suffering is a blessing and that as we are faithful in one trial, He rewards us with another, for it is only in suffering that we truly come to know our suffering Savior. So I now choose to consider myself blessed to have suffered in multiple ways in my life thus far. It is the thing that brings me to God and keeps me close to Him - "just a closer walk..."
Amen! May God continue to Bless you Katherine!
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazing Woman of God, Katherine! I have always heard that our sufferings make us bitter or better. Your whole face just glows with the Fruits of the Spirit. You have explained some things more clearly here than I remember hearing before, God has given you His wisdom and discernment. Praying for you dear one......
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