Radiation and Giving Thanks

If you follow me on social media, you know that two weeks ago I started radiation on my pelvic bone and lower spine to try to relieve some pain I've been having by killing the tumors there. I've had palliative radiation before, once to my upper spine and once to a couple of ribs. I thought I knew what to expect. I was wrong.

The side effects of radiation vary greatly, depending on where they're radiating. There is often collateral damage to any areas radiation has to pass through to reach the treatment area. In the past, due to where they radiated, I hadn't experienced that. This time, I most definitely have. 

In order to radiate my pelvis and lumbar spine, the radiation also had to hit my intestines. And it's been pretty miserable. I'm now on day 14 of abdominal cramps, bloating, and horrible diarrhea. I've been existing on sourdough toast. I even have to wear "Oops, I crapped my pants" at night. 

At this same time, November has been drawing near and has now arrived, and I've been thinking about giving thanks. The Bible talks a lot about giving thanks, but it's not in some Pollyanna way of finding a silver lining to everything. We are to "give thanks IN all circumstances" (1 Thess. 5:18, emphasis mine), not necessarily FOR all circumstances. It has been my experience that giving thanks in all circumstances transforms the experience of those circumstances into a place of peace and joy, which is perhaps the real meaning behind Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (emphasis mine).

Jesus gave us the ultimate example during the Last Supper. "And he took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to them, saying, 'This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me' (Luke 22:19, emphasis mine). Jesus gave thanks for bread that represented his broken and crucified body. He gave thanks! We later see Him fervently pray that He might not have to suffer in this way, and yet He submits Himself to the will of the Father (Luke 22:42). 

I believe that's the real meaning behind giving thanks in all things - we give thanks to show we trust our good Father, that whatever He is accomplishing through our suffering is for our ultimate good and for His glory, whether we see it in our lifetime or not. And we can rest in peace, knowing that.

That being said, it's definitely not easy. Jesus sweated drops of blood as he pled for the cup to pass from Him. I have prayed similar, less spiritual prayers for various cups of suffering to pass from me, including this most recent one. My heart may not feel gratitude, but I give thanks because I am sure that God is good and He is faithful. He will uphold me with His righteous right hand. "Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief."