Life Doesn't Always Turn Out the Way You Plan
I’ve noticed over the past few days that most people seemed more disturbed about the COVID-19 quarantine than I have. Honestly, my days continue to look pretty much the same, except that my husband has taken up residence in our sunroom as his work-from-home space and I’m not thrilled about sharing. (It’s the best room in the house, though. I don’t blame him. And he’s cooking me steaks as I write this, so who can be mad?) But seriously, why am I not more bothered about the social distancing and canceled plans?
My first thought was that it’s because I’m an introvert; I need less live interaction with others than most people do. But today I realized it’s more than that. What’s the real driver of the angst people are feeling right now? Fear over whether or not the virus will affect us or people we love is an issue, but I think the hardest thing of all for most people is that life isn’t looking like we want it to right now. Things we’ve been looking forward to are being canceled. Even events we may have spent our whole lives looking forward to – graduations, epic travel plans, weddings – are either not happening or are going to look a whole lot different than what we had imagined.
And I’m an expert at things not turning out like I had imagined. You might say that I’ve been in training for this moment my whole adult life. When I was little, I thought I was going to grow up, get married, and be a stay-at-home mom. But by age 27, I had been through a devastating divorce, had zero kids, and had spent six years in a string of unfulfilling jobs that I had only taken to “mark time” until motherhood. All my plans and dreams – up in smoke. Fast forward a couple of years and I’m diagnosed with breast cancer. I survive, remarry, and before I’m medically cleared to have children, I end up needing to have my ovaries removed due to a cancer scare. I make it through the ovarian cancer scare only to find out my breast cancer has returned and it’s now incurable. Life doesn’t always turn out the way you plan.
But what these events have taught me is that I need to hold onto my plans lightly. It hurts a lot more to pry something out of a clenched fist than it does an open palm. I fought so hard to make my life turn out the way I had planned. My mind ignored reality for so long that my body rebelled and developed an anxiety disorder as a way to manage the stress. I’m not writing this post because I judge anyone who is disappointed about how things are turning out in their life right now. I'm writing it because I've been there. It took me several years (Years! So who am I to judge you?) but I eventually came to truly surrender my life and my plans – no strings attached - to God, to acknowledge that He’s the one in control and His plans are for my good and ARE good. I’ve gotten progressively better at holding my plans, dreams, and ideas for my life with open palms, so that if they’re not what He has planned for me, He can change them out without having to pry up each of my clenched fingers one by one. And that's the real reason why I'm not having a hard time coping with the effects of the coronavirus.
The apostle Paul was in this boat with us, too. One of his most famous scriptures is actually prefaced by this: “In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content—whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through him who strengthens me.” What can we do with Christ’s strength? Accept whatever circumstances we’re in. It doesn’t look like 2020 is going to turn out the way we planned. But it IS going to turn out the way God planned. We may not see the good right now and it may take all of Christ’s strength to get us through these times, but He’s here and He’s in control and He’s working all things together for our good.
My first thought was that it’s because I’m an introvert; I need less live interaction with others than most people do. But today I realized it’s more than that. What’s the real driver of the angst people are feeling right now? Fear over whether or not the virus will affect us or people we love is an issue, but I think the hardest thing of all for most people is that life isn’t looking like we want it to right now. Things we’ve been looking forward to are being canceled. Even events we may have spent our whole lives looking forward to – graduations, epic travel plans, weddings – are either not happening or are going to look a whole lot different than what we had imagined.
And I’m an expert at things not turning out like I had imagined. You might say that I’ve been in training for this moment my whole adult life. When I was little, I thought I was going to grow up, get married, and be a stay-at-home mom. But by age 27, I had been through a devastating divorce, had zero kids, and had spent six years in a string of unfulfilling jobs that I had only taken to “mark time” until motherhood. All my plans and dreams – up in smoke. Fast forward a couple of years and I’m diagnosed with breast cancer. I survive, remarry, and before I’m medically cleared to have children, I end up needing to have my ovaries removed due to a cancer scare. I make it through the ovarian cancer scare only to find out my breast cancer has returned and it’s now incurable. Life doesn’t always turn out the way you plan.
The apostle Paul was in this boat with us, too. One of his most famous scriptures is actually prefaced by this: “In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content—whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through him who strengthens me.” What can we do with Christ’s strength? Accept whatever circumstances we’re in. It doesn’t look like 2020 is going to turn out the way we planned. But it IS going to turn out the way God planned. We may not see the good right now and it may take all of Christ’s strength to get us through these times, but He’s here and He’s in control and He’s working all things together for our good.
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