Health Update

It's time for a little health update! Blood tests continue to come back clean and I am scheduled for another scan in February, this time one that will look at tissue, as well as bone (got to make sure nothing shows up in my lungs, liver, or brain). My Iron Woman injections have switched from monthly to every other month as I'm coming up on six months post-diagnosis.

I am slowly learning to take things day-by-day, to try not to get discouraged when I have pain, because, for now at least, tomorrow could be totally different. I just finished a 2-3 week stretch where I was virtually pain-free. This hasn't happened since diagnosis; what a blessing! I felt normal and mostly forgot about my diagnosis.

My spirits were so revived that I actually felt like tackling a project on the fixer-upper house we bought this past January. Work on it had pretty much stalled once Kevin went back to school in late August. With my fatigue, my pain, and my lack of interest in life, I wasn't working on it either. But Saturday I felt like painting our master bathroom! (mostly because of the promise of a new shelf to go over the toilet, but who's telling?) It's just a tiny half bath - 4x4 at the most - so this seemed like a reasonable goal.

I only had time to wash the walls with TSP before we had to run an errand. I had seen a great idea on Pinterest recommending you use a mop to wash the walls instead of a sponge, as it enables you to reach the high places without a ladder. I figured it would be easier on my back, too. #Pinterestfail In reality, I could only use the mop on the upper and lower parts because the mop is longer than the room is wide. (LOL! I told you the bathroom is tiny!)

So I mopped/washed the walls and floor, made some food for our community group Christmas dinner that night, and by the time the cake came out of the oven, I was in intense pain. Pain so bad that I just wanted to lay down and cry. :( But we had a party to attend and white elephant gifts to produce! So ibuprofen was my appetizer and I prayed it would kick in soon. (It didn't; but our lovely hostess offered a heating pad, which did help some.)

This long story to say, no matter how good I feel, my reality is different than it once was. What I did on Saturday would not have been a lot for me in the past; now it is, apparently, way too much. No matter how good I feel, I still need to take it easy. This is hard. I don't like being told what I can and can't do, even by, especially by, my own body. I don't like feeling "less than" because my house is dirty and I still don't have doors on my kitchen cabinets. I don't like not being able to "pull my own weight." I don't like having to eat out because I haven't cooked anything in ages.

And yet, God shows me grace. He remembers that I am dust. He sends you dear ones to cheer me and encourage me, even connecting me with new friends and those I thought long-lost. He enables my husband to love me. I love these verses from Psalm 103:8-18:

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. The life of mortals is like grass, they flourish like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children - with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" (Mt. 6:34).