The Real Deal
I don't know if anyone is still reading this blog or not. I never meant to abandon it, but once I started feeling better, I also got much busier, and taking time to process what's been going on just hasn't happened. A lot has been going on, though!
I had my final surgery, putting in my permanent implants, on April 30. I was hard to believe that they were going to do this surgery at the outpatient surgery center. With my previous surgery, I was out of work for a month and this time they were going to send me home to fend for myself the very first day! My fears were unfounded, though. Of course, my mom and Kevin tag-teamed to help me out, and my small group brought me some dinners, but I was feeling pretty good by day two - a far cry from where I had been at that point with the first surgery.
The incisions were much smaller this time and this procedure didn't require messing around with my muscles as much, so my soreness was limited. The first surgery left me permanently numb, though, so I wonder if that had any effect on how I felt during recovery this time. The healing of the incisions also went more smoothly this time; I didn't have a single stitch abscess! Within a week, I had my full range of motion back (although I was cautious not to over-do it) and in less than two weeks post-surgery, I was traipsing all over Washington DC, putting my endurance to the test.
I do have to share that it is a little strange to have "fake boobs," especially now that they are permanently fake. The implants are not quite what I was expecting. I had thought they would be softer, but they're still pretty hard. I am able to sleep on my stomach again (yay!), but after almost a year, I'd pretty much taught myself to sleep on my side after all, and haven't taken advantage of this perk as much as I thought I would. The implants are also surprisingly cold. I had chosen silicone implants based on their superior feel and the fact that the doctor said that the saline implants don't warm up to your body temperature. Maybe they are even colder than the silicone implants, but the silicone ones are none too warm.
I had heard that women with implants seem to be more likely to "share" their new assets with family and friends, even unsuspecting strangers once the alcohol kicks in. When I first read that, I thought it would never happen to me. I've always been very modest and consider that a virtue. But I have to admit that I am less concerned about covering up my new additions than I would have thought. I attribute that to several reasons: 1) I can't feel them. They seem like they are outside the plane of my body, attached but not integrated. Because I can't feel them, I sometimes bump into things with them and I don't notice as quickly if my shirt slips down a little too far. 2) They don't look real yet. Maybe that will change after I get the areola tattoos. We'll see. 3) They're smaller than my original set AND I don't have to wear a bra. One of the perks of being a cancer survivor. ;)
It's now been over a month since my surgery and I'm finally truly feeling like I'm back where I started from (pre-cancer) in terms of energy, stamina, movement, mental clarity, etc. Last week I could tell I was really "bringing my A game," for the first time in a year. I also celebrated (I use that term loosely) my one-year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. Here is what I shared on Facebook: "I just remembered that today is the one-year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. I could never have imagined all that this year would hold, but praise be to God for His faithfulness through it and for bringing joy from mourning."
Part of the joy I celebrate is my engagement to Kevin! He proposed in DC, in the lovely Botanic Gardens, and I said yes. :) The wedding is set for September 29. It is so interesting to think about the parallel tracks that were running in my life over the past year - one track bringing pain and the testing of my faith; the other bringing new beginnings and a love that was proven in difficult circumstances. God knew exactly what I would need to be able to trust again and He provided it.
I am reminded of part of a passage I've been memorizing: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (James 1:2-4). Do not resist trials or bemoan their existence in your life. You never know how God may be using them for good. :)
That's all this girl can get down on paper for tonight, but it feels so good to be doing some processing and writing again. I hope to bring you some more soon. Grace and peace to you all...
I had my final surgery, putting in my permanent implants, on April 30. I was hard to believe that they were going to do this surgery at the outpatient surgery center. With my previous surgery, I was out of work for a month and this time they were going to send me home to fend for myself the very first day! My fears were unfounded, though. Of course, my mom and Kevin tag-teamed to help me out, and my small group brought me some dinners, but I was feeling pretty good by day two - a far cry from where I had been at that point with the first surgery.
The incisions were much smaller this time and this procedure didn't require messing around with my muscles as much, so my soreness was limited. The first surgery left me permanently numb, though, so I wonder if that had any effect on how I felt during recovery this time. The healing of the incisions also went more smoothly this time; I didn't have a single stitch abscess! Within a week, I had my full range of motion back (although I was cautious not to over-do it) and in less than two weeks post-surgery, I was traipsing all over Washington DC, putting my endurance to the test.
I do have to share that it is a little strange to have "fake boobs," especially now that they are permanently fake. The implants are not quite what I was expecting. I had thought they would be softer, but they're still pretty hard. I am able to sleep on my stomach again (yay!), but after almost a year, I'd pretty much taught myself to sleep on my side after all, and haven't taken advantage of this perk as much as I thought I would. The implants are also surprisingly cold. I had chosen silicone implants based on their superior feel and the fact that the doctor said that the saline implants don't warm up to your body temperature. Maybe they are even colder than the silicone implants, but the silicone ones are none too warm.
I had heard that women with implants seem to be more likely to "share" their new assets with family and friends, even unsuspecting strangers once the alcohol kicks in. When I first read that, I thought it would never happen to me. I've always been very modest and consider that a virtue. But I have to admit that I am less concerned about covering up my new additions than I would have thought. I attribute that to several reasons: 1) I can't feel them. They seem like they are outside the plane of my body, attached but not integrated. Because I can't feel them, I sometimes bump into things with them and I don't notice as quickly if my shirt slips down a little too far. 2) They don't look real yet. Maybe that will change after I get the areola tattoos. We'll see. 3) They're smaller than my original set AND I don't have to wear a bra. One of the perks of being a cancer survivor. ;)
It's now been over a month since my surgery and I'm finally truly feeling like I'm back where I started from (pre-cancer) in terms of energy, stamina, movement, mental clarity, etc. Last week I could tell I was really "bringing my A game," for the first time in a year. I also celebrated (I use that term loosely) my one-year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. Here is what I shared on Facebook: "I just remembered that today is the one-year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. I could never have imagined all that this year would hold, but praise be to God for His faithfulness through it and for bringing joy from mourning."
Part of the joy I celebrate is my engagement to Kevin! He proposed in DC, in the lovely Botanic Gardens, and I said yes. :) The wedding is set for September 29. It is so interesting to think about the parallel tracks that were running in my life over the past year - one track bringing pain and the testing of my faith; the other bringing new beginnings and a love that was proven in difficult circumstances. God knew exactly what I would need to be able to trust again and He provided it.
I am reminded of part of a passage I've been memorizing: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (James 1:2-4). Do not resist trials or bemoan their existence in your life. You never know how God may be using them for good. :)
That's all this girl can get down on paper for tonight, but it feels so good to be doing some processing and writing again. I hope to bring you some more soon. Grace and peace to you all...
Congrats!!! Such wonderful blessings a year has brought!! Thank you so much for updating your blog, it is always so encouraging to read!
ReplyDelete