Looking Back - And Forward

I have been wanting to write an update for several days now, but I've just been too busy to get to it.  You may know that on Christmas Eve I put an offer in on a townhouse here in Charlottesville and that offer was accepted.  Yesterday the money changed hands and the place is officially mine!  I move in tomorrow.  Packing and paperwork have consumed my days, so writing has had to wait.

I started tamoxifen a little over a week ago.  This is a drug I'll be on for the next five years.  It basically blocks any effect of estrogen on my body.  Since my cancer was estrogen-receptor positive, meaning estrogen was feeding my cancer, tamoxifen is an extra precaution to keep all estrogen from my cells for as long as I'm on the drug.  So far I haven't noticed any side effects.

I mentioned in my last post that my hair is starting to come back.  I still don't have much, but from what I can tell, it's definitely going to be darker than before.  My eyelashes and eyebrows are coming back, too, as is the hair on my fingers and hands that I didn't even know I had lost.  At the risk of sharing too much information, I'm going to say that I learned something new about chemo-induced hair loss - you also lose your nose hair.  I did not personally witness this, but a fellow chemo sufferer shared with me that her nose had been very "drippy" - literally - and that her nurse said it's because she no longer has nose hairs to hold the drips in.  Too funny!

I was supposed to see the plastic surgeon last week, but he had to reschedule for this week.  I'm glad he did, because this week I was abscess-free and able to get my first expansion in five months!  I feel like I am finally
truly going to be able to move past this cancer and get back to a new-normal life.

Everywhere I turn there seems to be something new popping up in my life.  Even the flowers have started to sprout and make me think spring is just around the corner.  New health, new house, new boobs, new life.  :)  But today I got a blog post from Beth Moore and it reminded me that I should never forget the journey God has taken me on over the past nine months.  She shared some verses from Deuteronomy and I couldn't believe how applicable they were for what I'm going through right now:

“And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you” (Deut. 8:2).
“Take care lest you forget the Lord your God...lest, when you have eaten and are full and built good houses and live in them …then your heart be lifted up, and you forget the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery" (Deut. 8:11, 14, italics added).
“And if you forget the Lord your God, I solemnly warn you today that you shall surely perish” (Deut. 8:19).

Just when I'm ready to forget what's past and run full speed ahead toward my future, God calls to me to remember what we've been through together.  I think about the Israelites and how God often asked them to make an altar to remember something significant that He had done for them.  He knows how prone we are to forget.  The God that got me through cancer can get me through whatever challenges may be in my future.  There is no reason to fear, whatever new may come my way; I simply need to look back at all He did in this situation and know that the same God is in control of my current circumstances.

May I always remember!

Comments

  1. I like your use of the phrase "my cancer WAS ..." Past tense! Woo!

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